How Dogs Get Married

My son came to me when he was four and said,
"Mama,while I was sleeping, God told me how dogs get married."
"He did?"
"Yes mam, When they sniff each other's butts."

I had written this down so I wouldn't forget it and I just came across it. Gee, that was 8 years ago ! I wonder if he still thinks that?

Update On the Ironing Board

Since I posted that story last year, several people have offered me their old ironing boards and at two different times, we came home and there was an ironing board on my porch !
Either someone else wanted to give up ironing or felt sorry for my husband with his wrinkled shirts.
We kept the best one (of course) and gave the other to someone else who wanted it.
I thank you ,whoever you are . But please, I don't need another one. At least until I misplace it again.
Wonder what would happen if I "misplaced" my old refrigerator? Hmmm......................

Have You Seen My Ironing Board?

I have been asked to please run this old post again, so here it is. Some of you might remember it

Have You Seen My Ironing Board?
How Do You Lose An Ironing Board?Ok, maybe I'm losing it. My mind I mean. How in the world can you lose an ironing board?But that's exactly what has happened at my house. Ok, I know I'm not the most organized person in the world, but losing something as large as an ironing board takes talent.( See, I do have a talent. )

I've never lost a child.Ok, maybe once, in Sears, but we found her in the baby department sucking on an empty bottle. (Trying to re-live her diaper days.She was only 4.) But other than that, I've never lost anything taller.

I know .You're right, I don't iron that much, but my husband needed a shirt. I left it in the dryer too long, and I wanted him to look nice. I found the iron stuck back in the bathroom closet and the spray starch. But when I looked beside the refrigerator where I usually keep the ironing board, it wasn't there. I looked in all the places where it's been seen before and still no luck.

I mean, Andrew wasn't using it to hold up a blanket for a tent, it wasn't in the school room being used for an extra table for a science project or experiment, it wasn't stuffed in the hall closet. It wasn't on the front porch or yard, being used for some kind of skateboard trick, or Hot Wheel track hill.

I told my husband that someone must have come into the house while we were gone one day and took it. He looked at me funny and said he "wasn't calling the police to file a report on a stolen ironing board."

Just how do you lose something like that ? I've tried to lose other things but had no luck.Like my husbands old army footlocker. He's been out of the army for 20 years now, and that thing
is still on the carport.

I tell you, I think someone stole it.After all, those old ironing boards will soon be a thing of the past. I think someone is collecting and hoarding them. They'll go up north and sell them all to a museum or an antique store and make a fortune. Or at least enough to pay for gas. You might just better go and check on yours and see if its still where you put it.I f it's got a green cover and makes an awful noise when you set it up, maybe it's mine. How you got it will be the next question on my mind.But if you need it that bad, you can keep it .

As long as I don't have it, Dear Hubby will just have to settle for me putting his shirts back into the dryer with a damp towel. Of course, that means I'll have to stand there waiting for just the right time to pluck the shirt out of the dryer before it wrinkles again. If I can stand still long enough, I'll remember where that durned ironing board is!
Linda

how to recognize clean laundry

I first posted this back in 2007  . I think we need a refresher course!


Summer School!
Yes, We are going to have "school" this summer. There are a few things that we MUST work on. Now is the time. Some of you out there will instantly recognize that I have a house full of boys.

Laundry 101
How To Recognize Clean Laundry
(You did NOT fold it when you took it off!)Therefore it must be clean.Smell it. How does it smell? Like the dryer sheets? Then it is CLEAN and does NOT go back into the hamper. Not without first being worn on your body for more than 15 minutes. (Unless ,like your dad,you spill something on it.)
How To Take Off Jeans.
Jeans do not require that one leg be wrong-side-out to get clean. You just might have to step out of them and not sit on the toilet and pull one leg off so that it gets turned. This doesn't apply to everyone.You know who you are.
How To Unball Socks
Socks, also, do not require turning inside-out to get clean. If this happens, you can turn them by putting your hand inside the sock and grabbing the toe and pulling the top over the toe with your other hand. Use your teeth for all I care.This works every time. Also, Mr. Rainman, this dirt touched your foot all day long, so it is not going to hurt your hand. God made you washable. If this keeps happening, we will have a 6 hour seminar on unballing socks.
The HamperThe laundry hamper is that white canister with the lid that sits by your bedroom door. There is also one in the bathroom. This is NOT the trash can. Neither is it a place to put your frogs while you shower! The dirty clothes you just took off go INTO the can, Not beside it, or ,on top of it. It IS possible for anyone, over 2 years old, to lift the lid. You can do it, Waterboy!
While I am on the subject of baths and such, the GOOD laundry towels that we JUST bought, are NOT, I repeat, ARE NOT bath mats. If there is no bath mat on the floor, put one down before you get in the tub.

Coming soon.........
How to change sheets